Imagine sitting in a dining area with a bunch of other parents and someone yells terrible twos. All the parents start running like there’s a fire in the halls. I know it is a bit of an exaggeration but there are some parents, I can only imagine having that type of fear over a two or year-old harboring some very scary memories, after all, it’s not confined to a specific age.
We are all dads here just sharing the different ways we deal with hardships and difficulties and ways to tailor certain tips for a more productive and well-behaved child.
As we delve into child behavior at the terrible twos age we will find out more about the mentality behind the behavior our children go through and go a bit deeper and see how communication will be a factor here.
Knowing What the Terrible Twos Stage is
The “terrible Twos” is a well-known stage a child goes through typically around their second birthday. This part of their development stage is where your baby thinks they’re grown and gets a growing desire for independence and autonomy.
As with most things in parenting, there’s always an underside to every reaction, so understanding the psychological changes is key to taking the right steps with our child.
What are the Terrible Twos?
The term “terrible Two” refers to the phase a toddler goes through of wanting to assert their freedom and push boundaries. It is the normal stage of development, shown by increased tantrums, defiance and stubbornness.
At this age, they are learning more about their sense of self and learning to express their wants and needs.
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What Type of Behaviors to Expect
During the terrible twos stage, children tend to have more outbursts and temper tantrums or be rude as my parents used to say I was. Toddlers tend to exhibit a strong sense of determination and get more vocal when expressing their feelings.
It would be easy to say the child is disobedient or not listening to you, but since you know the deeper meaning of their behavior you can cut them some slack and show a sense of calmness in your demeanor to subdue the rising tensions.
Psychological Development at Two Years Old
At two years of age, children go through a lot of different changes they don’t know how to control or react to. They are learning basic problem-solving skills, learning how to get what they want and exploring their environment more actively.
In my case, my last son Ezra who is now 5 has a speech delay and we found this out at a very young age. Our experiences with him were a bit more exaggerated due to the fact he couldn’t express his thoughts through his words sufficiently.
That frustration built up and exploded in the form of crying and a few other emotions that seemed like an overreaction.
In the grand aspect of tantrums, toddlers experience feelings such as joy, frustration, and anger a lot of time in quick succession. These emotions are a normal part of a child’s development and must be taught to regulate those emotions as he gets older.
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Preparing Yourself as a Dad For the Terrible Twos
Preparing for fatherhood has always been a scary situation, even down to my last child, but the comforting part was the communication with my wife about expectations and being on the same page about major issues.
Another factor that caused me some ease was educating myself about “terrible twos, not taking it personally, and being informed about the changes my little guy was going through. Being prepared to set boundaries and enforcing them calmly and with patience while offering assurance is a must.
Setting Realistic Expectations
If you are going into fatherhood thinking it will be easy sailing, well I have news for you, it is not. There will need to be realistic expectations and be ready for the ups and downs.
Some days you will not feel like getting out of bed because of what may seem like the weight of the world is on our shoulders, we will still need to show up and show out.
Even now I make it a habit to learn from other parents and seek advice from time to time. Understanding what’s expected of me from the experience of others always gives me the confidence and resilience to brave those unpredictable days ahead.
Communicating Effectively with Your Partner
One of the best feelings in the world is to be able to talk things through with your partner. The same person who knows you the best and has the best idea of what you’re going through most of the time.
The ability to discuss expectations and required procedures to be on the same page helps to strengthen the relationship and shows that there is a bonded community at home.
Both parents should try their best to practice active listening and tell each other how to feel because full transparency is the way to make the best parenting decisions together.
Are you looking to join a community of like-minded dads who share your passion for everything about fatherhood? Look no further! Join our free Facebook group Stay-at-home Dads Club
Building Patience and Resilience
There are a few go-to tricks that get me the desired effect, needed when dealing with my children.
- Have realistic expectations
- Play the waiting games
- Acknowledge the challenge
- Do not resort to bribes
- Have them burn off some energy
- Ask them what they want to do
- Display patience
- Limit their screentime
Surviving The Terrible Twos
This phase in a toddler’s life is familiar to others, with a lot more patience needed for their extracurricular attitudes.
Predictably Consistent Routines
Establishing predictable routines can provide a sense of security and stability. The secret to this is to be predictable with the daily routines, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for example. Even scheduled morning wakeups could stop or minimize meltdowns when the child is accustomed to the routine.
Positive Reinforcement
Praising the behavior when the child does something right can go along in continued improved behavior in the child. Simple actions like clapping, high-fives, or words of praise reinforce positive behaviors.
Sometimes incorporating small rewards and specialty privileges you know your child likes is even more of an incentive to strengthen your bond, it’s not bribery it’s motivation.
Photo by Yan Krukau
For more examples of positive reinforcement techniques, check out these resources and insights.
How to Control Tantrums and Emotional Outbursts
Imagine sitting at the dinner table and everyone’s eating dinner. The little one asks for a glass of juice but you decide for him to finish eating first before he drinks. He then proceeds to scream uncontrollably and then refuses to eat, what’s next?
- Stay calm
- Set boundaries
- Offer comfort during moments of distress
Encouraging Independence Safely
Understanding the importance of a toddler’s independence and how it is necessary for them to be able to do little things for themselves is needed. There is a thin line in safely giving them the free will to do things without injury.
We as parents will always promote self-exploration and decision-making while allowing them choices within certain boundaries.
At first, letting them roam free and explore their environment will be a bit daunting. Your curiosity will most likely get the best of you, but it is fine to check on them.
Bonding Activities in the Terrible Twos Phase
It is imperative to spend time with our children, but when I say spend time, I don’t mean just having them around. I mean being intentional with the time spent with them by having productive conversations or activities.
For us, there is inside time consisting of movies, games, and outside time. Outside time is sports and hiking/nature walks or sometimes going for a long drive to explore new places and then having tacos because why not?
Outdoor Adventures
Exploring the great outdoors with your toddler enables and activates that ever-and-so-evolving imagination. Other options are:
- Picnic: Pack a bag and head to the nearest park for a few hours.
- Sensory Play: Set up a sensory bin in the yard and fill it with sand, water or rice and provide a small bucket or scoop for them to play and stimulate their senses.
- Sidewalk Chalk: Get some chalk sticks and go wild on the sidewalk or driveway. Work alongside them and draw pictures, shapes, or hopscotch grids on the sidewalk or driveway.
- Bubbles: An oldie but goodie. Blow bubbles and have your little one burst them, or give them the wand and have them do it themself.
- Obstacle Course: Gather a few household items like hula hoops, cones and buckets and let them crawl through and jump over the obstacles. This is a great promoter of mobile skills.
Creative Playtime Ideas
Variety is the spice of life and this also goes for kids. Have you ever tried activities that spark your child’s imagination during playtime? Games that will spark their memories and cognitive development? Well, what area are you waiting for?
Consider setting up a mini art corner at home for painting sessions, building forts with blankets and pillows for imaginative play, or engaging in role-playing games that encourage storytelling and creativity.
Reading and Storytelling
My 14-year-old loves reading and because of his passion for books he has inspired his two younger brothers in reading also. The youngest, we have a nightly ritual of reading before bed, he is allowed to pick his three favorite books for that evening.
Reading to him is one of the many activities I do to assist with his speech, along with professional help. Sometimes I would allow him to finish the stories I started, allowing his imagination to run wild and encouraging him to use new words and express himself through storytelling.
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Self-Care With the Terrible Twos
What is self-care you may ask, well simply put, it is taking time out for yourself by doing things you enjoy. As dads, we tend to prioritize our family first, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
In return, what do we do when we are tired and worn out from the constant wear and tear of life? Something to look forward to and enjoy, to unwind. Let’s talk about some tips for dad’s self-care.
Importance of Self-Care
Self-care is not indulgent, it’s a fundamental aspect of maintaining our being. By prioritizing self-care, we can reduce stress, increase resilience, and be better equipped to handle the demands of parenting.
Getting With a Support System
Having access to a support system is good for dads. Connecting with other fathers allows you to talk about struggles and share experiences, get advice, and gain a sense of community.
That is where the Stay-at-home Dads Club Facebook group shines. We let it all come and we help and cheer each other on. Working together, we aim to encourage and find the courage to show up for the most important ones.
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Balancing Work and Family Life
Although you might have achieved a fine balance between family and work-life balance allow me:
- Establish Priorities: Decide what’s more important to you, spending time with the family or career and possible advancement in your job.
- Set Boundaries: Set specific times for work and home and do not let the other encroach on the time, and wherever you are, be fully present, especially at home.
- Communication: Communicate openly with your boss/job and at home and let them know precisely what your intentions and time limitations are.
- Time Management: The time you do have make it count, use whatever apps or strategies to keep track of the time if you are prone to time slipping away.
- Quality Over Quantity: Make the most of the time you have with family in bonding activities.
Celebrating Milestones and Progress with Terrible Twos
Recognizing Achievements
It is inevitable to lose track of some milestones our children will conquer, but that does not mean you don’t have to celebrate the ones you do keep track of. Take time and recognize the effort and hard work they put into it.
The first time tying their shoelace, have an impromptu party, finally mastering the art of using a spoon, take them out for ice cream, why not? Let them know you appreciate the effort every achievement deserves recognition within reason.
Acknowledging and praising these accomplishments not only boosts your child’s self-esteem but also strengthens your bond. Remember, it’s the small victories that pave the way for bigger successes in the future.
Creating Lasting Memories
During the whirlwind which is the Terrible Twos, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of everything going on and forget about the good times and achievements. Take the time to create lasting memories with your little one.
Don’t shy away from getting behind the camera to freeze these heartwarming memories in time. Cherishing these moments will create a treasure trove of nostalgia and also strengthen the bond between you and your child.
As a dad who has experienced the Terrible Twos a few times myself let’s not take those precious moments for granted. Looking back I can say that consistent communication with my partner and bracing my sanity because of the time I took for myself, we came through it just fine.
Trust in your abilities as a father to guide your little ones through this tumultuous time. Approaching any obstacle with a positive mindset and the willingness to learn, you will come out victorious.
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