Therapy Matters, but Parenting Never Clocks Out…
When we first started dealing with Ezra’s speech delay, I naturally looked to professionals for answers about how to help between appointments.
What should we be doing? How often? What should we be looking for? Was he progressing quickly enough? I had all the questions you could imagine.
Those questions matter. But over time, I learned something that changed how I saw the whole process.
At the time, I was living with Ezra. I could see firsthand how much communication is part of everyday life: eating, playing, getting dressed, going outside, and reading. Even those little haggling moments can turn into international diplomacy.
Years later, parenting from afar has given me a different perspective. I don’t have to be physically beside my child every hour to stay interested, informed, and involved in his communication development. The hardest pill to swallow by the way.
The role changes, but the responsibility doesn’t disappear. The everyday strategies that follow can support children with speech delays.
Therapy Is One Hour; Everyday Life Is the Rest
A speech-language pathologist brings expertise I don’t have, and I’ll never pretend that reading a few articles suddenly makes me Dr. Curtise Lewis.
But parents have something professionals don’t.
Access to everyday life and deeper emotional currency.
ASHA describes family involvement as an important part of early communication intervention because parents and caregivers can use everyday routines, play and interactions to support communication. ASHA
That’s where I think parents can really move the needle. Family-centered care also means listening to the context families bring.
Use Everyday Moments
That one hour doctors have; we don’t have such specialised working hours.
Communication with our children happens throughout the day. They point at something they want. They struggle to find a word, bring us a toy or get frustrated when we don’t understand. They make a sound that almost becomes a word.
Those aren’t interruptions to speech practice.
Those are the opportunities.
My goal was never to turn my home into another therapy room. The child already has enough adults asking him to perform things on command.
Instead, I used strategies recommended by my child’s clinician as part of our everyday support system. A clinician may use a parent coaching model to help caregivers try those strategies. The professional guides the language intervention; parents don’t need to diagnose or prescribe treatment themselves.
Research supports parents using basic language strategies, creating additional opportunities for children to develop language skills. ASHA Publications
Start With What They Love
I’ve found that with children, capturing their interest is often the best first step.
If your child is obsessed with cars, use cars. If it’s dinosaurs, apparently you’re learning dinosaur names now. Congratulations… and let language play a supporting role.
When your child pushes a toy car, build on the moment with simple words and phrases:
“Car.”
“Red car.”
“Fast red car.”
“The red car is going fast.”
As your child shares an idea, you can support expressive language skills with simple words. Your child is also hearing language and building receptive language as you describe what’s happening.
These kinds of speech practice activities can be short and playful. Techniques such as modelling language, responding to a child’s communication attempts, expanding their words and giving them time to respond are options to discuss with your clinician.
Give Their Words Time
This one sounds ridiculously simple.
Wait.
Parents are good at filling silence.
We ask something, wait approximately half a second, and then start helping. Allow them time to put their own thoughts together.
I can’t say for certain, but I noticed that when I pushed Ezra to speak before he was ready, it seemed to affect his confidence and comfort with trying to communicate. That is not a good feeling looking back.
Communication isn’t only perfect spoken words. Gestures, facial expressions, sounds, pictures, sign language and augmentative and alternative communication can all play a role. Discuss individual communication supports with your child’s clinician.
Narrate What You See
Narrating everyday life gives children a chance to connect words to things and actions. Talking about what you’re doing during daily routines, like eating or getting dressed, connects words to real experiences.
Reading together works the same way. No need to rush through every page. Pause, point at pictures, let your child respond in their own way, and build on what catches their attention.
The goal isn’t to finish the book. It’s to create opportunities for communication along the way.
Build on Their Words
This simply means expanding on the words your child already knows and uses. Instead of reminding them indirectly of their lack, you’re building on what they already produced.
This was one of the most useful ideas for me because it doesn’t require constantly correcting a child.
Suppose your child says:
“Dog.”
Instead of:
“No, say, ‘The dog is running.'”
You can simply respond:
“Yes. The dog is running.”
Rather than focusing on what a child got wrong, this response encourages their attempt to communicate without turning it into a pass-or-fail test.
Five Good Minutes Still Count
You’d be surprised what 15 minutes of real connection on the phone can achieve. Parenting from afar has taught me that trying to coax my kids into longer conversations doesn’t necessarily bring us closer. Sometimes it does the opposite.
When every call feels like it needs to last longer, kids can start feeling the pressure. Before long, they dread the call or find reasons not to talk. I can speak from experience.
I’ve had to learn that the quality of the conversation matters more than the length of it. Learning your child, paying attention to their mood and knowing when they’ve had enough makes a difference.
Keep an open mind, leave your ego at the door, and focus less on how long they stay on the phone and more on how they feel when the call ends.
That same idea carries over to home speech practice. Speech therapy success isn’t guaranteed by turning every moment into a lesson; outcomes vary, and guidance from your child’s clinician matters. Short, consistent moments can still give your child chances to communicate.
Staying Involved When You Parent From Afar
My perspective on this has changed.
When Ezra was going through those earlier stages, I was living with him. I had access to those everyday moments.
Now I understand parenting from afar in a way I didn’t then. It’s made me think differently about what parental involvement actually means.
From Afar, Stay Connected to the Plan
If you live separately from your child, don’t assume speech therapy is entirely the responsibility of the caregiver who lives with them.
Ask the speech-language pathologist and your child’s caregiver:
- What are his current speech therapy goals?
- What does he understand, or what receptive language skills is he practising?
- Which strategies can I use naturally during calls?
- Does the clinician use a parent coaching model to share strategies with both caregivers?
Calls can offer a little home speech practice, but they shouldn’t replace the clinician’s plan. When caregivers and the clinician stay aligned, collaborative practice helps the whole village support the child.
I’m His Dad Before I’m His Speech Coach
Video calls with Ezra have built our relationship in so many ways. He’s the youngest and the most attached to me because I was a stay-at-home dad in Mexico. Homeschooling and sick days were regular, so we talked often.
During our calls, I use games and activities to encourage him to talk. He loves playing games on the phone, and his older brother sometimes joins us. We might play “Would you rather fly or be invisible?” or take turns finishing a sentence I start. These speech practice activities keep things playful, and I might add a short home speech practice activity when it feels natural.
It’s a fun way to encourage speech and connect with my little dudes.
Watch Progress Without Turning It Into Pressure
These techniques can support developmental milestones, but progress looks different for every child.
Don’t compare your child with another. Focus on your child’s individual development and work with qualified professionals when you have concerns.
Depending on your child’s situation, an SLP may recommend monitoring, a hearing assessment, direct intervention, or another professional evaluation.
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