Social media has become something of a two-edged sword. It connects, entertains, and even educates, but behind the screen there are some unforeseen struggles—the pressure to fit in. The (FOMO) fear of missing out is real, but not real.
Is social media stealing your child’s confidence and why?
It would be a missed opportunity to permit our little ones access to their friends through social media and the internet. It is a must to have open communication to its true purpose.
We should let them understand the pressures and how it can shape their lives if they get caught up in the noisy digital world.
Do Kids Use Social Media Correct?
Social media has become the playground where kids laugh and share each other’s company, even arguing at times. But how often are they using it? Why is it so tempting?
Statistics on Kids and Social Media
How much time is enough too much time online, specifically on social media here? Think kids aren’t spending much time online? The data shows a very different picture. About 90% of teens aged 13-17 use social media on a regular basis, with 67% of teens active on TikTok alone.
Backed research recent Pew Research study.
Most of our kids aren’t just lurking either, they are elbow-deep in it—platforms like Instagram and Snapchat take up hours of their time. And YouTube? It’s gotten so big that it’s now a part of their daily routines.
Here’s a snippet of the most used social media platforms;
- YouTube: Topping the list, with 71% visited daily by teens.
- TikTok: Grabs a close second at 58%.
- Snapchat: Engages 51% of active kids.
- Instagram: Still popular among 47%
These spaces are where kids find and create their digital identities. They post share and constantly interact, it’s no wonder many teens admit it would be very tough to give it up.
What’s The Attraction to Social Media?
So, why are young minds drawn to social media like moths to a flame? It’s not just about selfies and hashtags. It’s about belonging and a feeling of community.
Kids, just like us adults find validation from likes and comments—little digital affirmations that fuel their little egos. These platforms present themselves as a modern-day hangout, where they can connect without walking out their front door.
Remember back in the day, before mobile phones we would meet up and hang out for hours on end, same thing. The difference is they do not need to leave their room.
But it’s also how it affects them mentally, how they process emotions and the emotions evoked from others not necessarily friends. Social media taps into their natural craving for exploration and identity:
- Peer Pressure: Most kids always feel like they are missing something when they are logged off.
- Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Missing one trend gives them the sense of an outsider.
- A Sense of Identity: Platforms like Instagram allow kids to craft and control their public image.
- Instant Entertainment: With short videos and memes, there’s never a dull moment. TikTok’s growth makes this abundantly clear.
Kids don’t just browse; they live online depending on the allotted time given of course but embracing this doesn’t mean agreeing with all of it—it means seeing their world through their eyes first.
Social Media and It’s Pressure on Children
The digital experience isn’t just a pastime for our kids—it’s shaping their lives in profound ways. Social media offers connection but comes with drawbacks many parents might not see at first glance. From peer pressure to body image concerns, the effects run deeper than we often realize.
Peer Pressure in the Digital Age
Photo by Mikhail Nilov.
Social media has taken peer pressure to an entirely new level. When I was a kid, there was no social media but I had a dad drilling in my head, “Don’t be jealous of other peoples stuff, you never know how they got it”.
That in a nutshell is what I insist and instill into my boys. That has stuck with me all these years, online or in real life. It has always been my north star!
He would also tell my sisters and myself, instead of wondering what friends are doing, study your school work, get good grades and help me out with these house chores. They do also get that speech from time to time but I digress.
Children do feel the weight of wanting to fit in when their friends do stuff- going to the movies, skating whatever it may be, they will want to join in, even just be visible.
Pressures like this sometimes lead them to make decisions they wouldn’t have made otherwise, like spending too much money on clothes to engaging in risky social behaviors.
Eventually the pressure becomes more or less normal and it chips away at their identity. They stop asking, “What do I want?” and start asking, “What will get me noticed?” This is caused by heightened levels of anxiety in children.
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Body Image and Social Media
Social media has become the epitome of what self-worth means nowadays. And not in a good way. Emphasis is mostly taken from the best photos being taken and God knows how many filters, and the staged background makes reality look dull and boring.
Girls especially fall prey to this false sense of beauty standards. This in part makes them feel like less than over time and start to think their values lie in their looks.
Boys, too, aren’t spared. They face pressures to meet unrealistic ideals of strength or wealth. It’s a vicious cycle—view, compare, feel inadequate, repeat.
Some of these platforms are more susceptible to this than others. They have filters for a slimmer nose, to brighten your teeth and even erase flaws on the skin.
As minute as this may seem, it affects kids with low self-esteem and may cause eating disorders, and a constant longing for approval.
In other words it causes body dysmorphia.
Helping Kids Deal With Social Media Pressure
Knowledge is power and relaying all the things to them is a good start towards healthy social interactions on the media platforms. Allow your children to see the power they have and not wanting online approval as gratification.
We listen and Don’t Judge
Don’t under-estimate the power of open and honest conversation, it’s like opening a window—it lets in light and fresh air. I’ve found that asking my boys simple, non-judgmental questions can work wonders.
At the moment there are three boys at home with us. Two are grown and doing their thing but out fifteen year old is just getting into the online world. Sometimes I would sit him down, and just have a none-judgmental conversation with him.
Instead of grilling him with questions like “Why are you always on your phone?” I would ask, “What’s your favourite thing to do online?” These softer approaches encourage kids to share without fear or guilt and most definitely open the door to more honest talks.
When he do open up, I listen without interruption. Sometimes he just wants to vent about a rude comment, a confusing post, or even the pressure to keep up.
When your child knows they can confide in you no matter what, you are doing it right. As parents, we will never have all the answers—just being there is a whole lot.
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Setting Healthy Boundaries
Let’s face it—you would lose a bet if you think kids would self-regulate when it comes to screen time. That is where we come in. We step in to assist in time limits and schedules with clear and reasonable boundaries. For instance:
- Set daily time limits: Apps like TikTok and YouTube can quickly become rabbit holes. A time cap keeps things balanced.
- No phones during meals or at bedtime: Absolutely no devices at the dinner table.
- Regular screen-free days: We strongly recommend activities like hiking, playing board games, or baking together.
Kids need to know the “why” when we restrict certain things—especially balancing their mental health.
Educating Kids on Digital Literacy
We wouldn’t send kids into a pool without first teaching them how to swim, would we? Social media is no different. Understanding what and how to equip them to sail the rough social media waters safely. Things I’ve learned:
- Privacy settings are everything: Teach them to limit their friends and avoid sharing any personal information.
- Think before you post: Words and photos live online forever, even if they think it’s “just a joke.”
- Spot fake accounts and scams: Not everyone online is who they claim to be—help them recognize the red flags.
Discuss these topics in small doses. They need to know the importance of privacy. Also, teach them the deeper meaning of a digital footprint and how it causes the internet can be a scary place.
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Helpful Resources for Parents
Books and Articles on Parenting and Social Media
Books offer timeless wisdom, and diving into stories or research-based guides usually spark meaningful change in how we approach parenting in the digital age. Here’s a curated selection of useful resources to open our eyes to avenues we might overlook:
- “Growing Up Shared” by Stacey Steinberg
This book presents a thoughtful look at how parents can be mindful of their own digital sharing while raising kids in a no-privacy era. You can find it here. - “Screen-Smart Parenting” by Jodi Gold
Dr. Jodi Gold explains how to maintain a healthy balance with your child’s social media habits and other digital technologies. Get all the insights here. - “Plugged-In Parenting” by Bob Waliszewski
This practical guide encourages parents to equip kids with useful discernment skills with using the interweb. Check it out here.
Parents who want a quick read might also appreciate this list of morning affirmations for staying positive and present as a parent. Most times presenting with a calmer mindset is half the battle.
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When we teach kids that their digital footprints matter, they start to see the internet not as a scary place but as one they can use wisely. With these tools, they’ll feel more confident to face whatever the digital world throws their way.
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